Pushing through the pain??

Everytime I think of exercise, I think of Year Seven PE. Up til high school, we didn't do much PE, we went out every now and again for a bit of a run around, and to play tag, nothing too serious. There were two PE teachers at our school, one was more understanding than the other... I got the latter for my first year of High School. Being an obese teenager, I was already quite sensitive about my weight. I am however, an extremely strong swimmer so dazzled him with my swimming skills, and got into the district swimming. It was a high point.. Then we started athletics... To those who know me personally, on land I'm like an unco fish that just can't get it right walking, let alone trying to run and coordinate myself enough to do other activities using legs and arms at the same time.
Eek! So anyway basically our PE teacher thought it would be in mine and another girl from my classes best interests to do "extra fitness laps" in our lunches to improve our "fitness". In other words: you girls are fat, and I want to destroy any hope that you could get through high school free of bullying. We were mauled (by words) every lunch time as we ran around in front of our peers. Teenagers can be bloody horrible and we were the centre of all the jokes at high school....

Those memories have scarred me and every time I think of exercise, I think of that. Push through the pain they said, because its worth it in the end. I have since suffered from depression, and these memories continue to haunt me...

So when I had my back pain finally diagnosed, it made me feel like I wasn't a hypochondriac my whole life, and that the pain that held me back all those years was real.

In 2009 I was diagnosed with spina bifida occulta, and in mid 2009 I was diagnosed with arthritis. 2010 I was diagnosed with a bulging disc in my back.

Since finding all this out, I need to be super careful with my back and what I do, I tend to move in the wrong direction and manage to pinch a nerve... Currently my issue. So I will be out for a few days by the looks of it :(

I won't however give into my temptation to waddle down the street and get a block of chocolate. I will be keeping myself far far away from horribly fatty food.... Unfortunately I did get lazy and didn't write down my food like I wanted to :( Whoops. Oh well my food diary is on its way so I can do it manually!
Keep it real

L xx